Certified Doctor of Toast
posted February 9, 1997

Q: My clone and I woke up this morning with a craving for french toast. We just happened to be online when we looked up “toast” hoping for… well, we didn’t really know what we were hoping for. Then we found you.

Anyway, our question is: how did you become a certified doctor of toast, and does it pay well?

– Olga and her clone (SonicEclps@xxxxx.com)

A: The two of you can read about my amazing transformation from a simple dullard into the spectacularly sagacious Dr. Toast in my reply to the letter from “An Inquiring Mind”.

And yes, the job pays well, but most of my income is squandered on the kickbacks I pay to the Bolivian military for covert shipments of extraterrestrial toast. Hey, we all have our weaknesses…

– Dr. Toast